We didn't start the fire. But a machine gun sure did.

Wow, what a night we had last night...for a professional journalistic look at the events of yesterday, go here or here. For my personal, time-lined experience, read on.

2:10 p.m. Leave church. Smell something that smells sort of like a campfire, but don't really think much of it. We live in kind of a rural town, so lots of people have their own fire pits and such.

2:30 p.m. I head over to a Young Women's meeting and notice a plume of smoke coming from the mountains south of our house. Figure it's a distant wildfire or controlled burn and nothing to be worried about.

3:30 p.m. Head home from meeting. Plume of smoke is getting bigger and looks closer, plus the air is getting a lot smokier. Get a little concerned.

5 p.m. John and I leave for Sunday dinner at my parent's house. I jokingly grab our CD of wedding pictures and bring it to the car, you know, in case we have to evacuate. Are greeted by this sight:

Am suddenly really grateful I decided to grab the pictures. John and I debate back and forth whether we should turn back and grab more of our irreplaceables/valuables in case the fire comes over the ridge and somehow makes its way to our house. Decide to go to my parent's and see what the news is saying. Discuss on the way what items we will take with us should we return home and find out that we do, in fact, need to evacuate. Mine are mostly sentimental ... pictures, scrapbooks, journals. High on John's priority list: his keyboard, guitars and computer. Ha. Therein lies the difference between women and men. (But in John's defense, his computer has most of our digital pictures and a lot of his logos and artwork on it. And he makes extra money with his musical instruments. So I suppose he gets points for practicality.) We see lots of police cars and fire trucks racing past us heading south. Even see a Blackhawk helicopter take off and head in that direction. Start to wonder if this thing is more serious than we thought.

5:42 p.m. Arrive at my parent's house. Greeted by the news that half of our ward has been evacuated and that my friend's brother's house a few miles away from ours is in danger. Find out that we are not in the evacuation zone, so decide to stay and eat dinner. Somehow put my fears aside and relax a little bit.

7:40 p.m. My parents return home from taking a spin in my brother's new car. My dad says we should go to our house; the fire looks like it's getting bigger.

7:45 p.m. Leave for our house. John and I are in separate cars (we left his car at my parent's house over the weekend) and my parents and brother are in a third car. I am in the lead and call John when I spot the massive flames on the mountains to the south. Start to panic a little bit. It takes me about an hour and a half to finally get to my house, a drive that normally takes less than a half hour. Yell at all of the gawkers on the side of the road who have their video cameras and tripods out and are congesting traffic. Get frustrated by people shooting up the middle lane and trying to butt in front of me and the other cars in front of me. Freak out a little when I see news cameras everywhere, flashing red and blue lights all over the place and a raging fire right in front of me. Get stuck in gridlocked traffic less than a block away from where we turn to get to our street, finally decide to bail and go the other way, only to be rerouted by policemen. Also, my phone dies, so I have no way to get a hold of anyone and am not sure where everyone is. Break down in hysterical tears when I finally get home. John hugs me for a good five minutes, despite my ugly hysterical crying face. Our house is fine, but we can see the fire from our front and back yards. We take a walk up the street and can see a house on fire about a half-mile away from us. Get lots of smoke and ash in our eyes. Cannot comprehend what it would be like to lose your house.

The view from our backyard

Gather up some of our belongings to take with us just in case...take a little more than we would have if it would have been a mandatory, rushed evacuation (hi, clock from Gardner Village and Willow Tree statues). Watch the news, check Twitter and Facebook to see if our neighborhood is going to be evacuated.

11:20 p.m. Decide to play it safe (and get away from the smoke) and spend the night at my parent's house after seeing that a lot of our neighbors have been told by police to have bags ready to go just in case something happens. Look back as I'm almost to Bangerter Highway and try not to drive off the road as I see that the whole mountain appears to be on fire and is dangerously close to houses. One of the craziest things I've ever seen in person.

11:45 p.m. Spend another awesome night sleeping on the air mattress. Goes along wonderfully with our smoke-filled hair and clothes, so it's pretty much like camping. Watch the news until the coverage stops around 12:30 to see if there are any new developments. Try to sleep. John tells me in the morning he's had some pretty wacky dreams, as is to be expected.

So there you have it. To put it simply, we are safe and our house is safe, so it's all good in the hood for the most part. Our house surprisingly doesn't smell as strongly of smoke as I thought it would, but our cars still smell pretty bad. We are so grateful that there wasn't more damage done to homes and that, as far as we know, all of our friends and neighbors are safe and their homes are OK. Those firefighters sure are amazing. I looked at pictures of the fire pretty much all day and it's unbelievable that more houses didn't get touched. Thanks to everyone for all of your texts, phone calls, emails and offers of help and concern! We have sure had enough excitement over here, at least for a little while.

The view from our backyard earlier tonight

A Surprise Visitor

A couple of days ago, this beauty started blooming in the marigold-infested flowerbed in our front yard:

I have no memory of planting this, nor do I remember it blooming last year, so it was a welcome surprise at the end of summer. I've utilized my self-proclaimed title of "Google Queen" and done a little research in an attempt to confirm its identity, and I think it's an iris. However, I readily admit that I could be wrong, so if any of you expert gardeners out there know for sure what it is, do tell! It is just pretty enough that I think it needs a row of little friends next year to keep it from being lonely.

P.S. Please note that we also didn't plant the glorious little marigolds that have taken over the flowerbed...and the occasional random crack in the sidewalk. They just magically appear each summer to give our house the appearance of gardening. Not my favorite flowers, but they sure do come in handy when you're too busy (or lazy?) to plant annuals. Thanks for the good work, marigolds.

He Loves Me, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah

Every once in a while, John surprises me with little treasures that, while seemingly insignificant, let me know that he loves me. A few recent examples?

Ah, Dr. Pepper...my No. 1 guilty pleasure (besides The Bachelor. And The Bachelor Pad. Heaven help me.) Note that it is of the Caffeine Free variety. See how my husband is concerned about my health? I feel much better drinking empty calories and loads of sugar when there is no caffeine involved.

Why is milk special, you ask? Only because I like to enjoy a nice, cold glass of Ovaltine every night, for which milk is a necessity. (My brothers and I used to make fun of my dad for drinking Ovaltine all the time...looks like the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree, eh?) Keeps my bones strong and full of density. Also allows me to keep my nerdiness running rampant. We ran out of milk a couple of days ago and John, being fully aware of my Ovaltine needs, went out to the store and bought some so I wouldn't have to go more than a day without partaking.

As we've been mapping out the landscape for our backyard, I've become obsessed with lilies. Any and every kind of lily. We bought some Asiatic and oriental lilies a while ago, but they are not blooming at the moment, which makes me so very sad. Last weekend we were at our second home, even The Home Depot, and they had the most GORGEOUS lilies there that I immediately fell in love with, but we decided not to buy any. So imagine my giddiness when I got home from work a couple of days later and saw these:

Nicely done, Johnny, nicely done.

Further Proof That We're Turning Redneck

Exhibit A: The Electric Fly Swatter

John and I, oddly enough, received this as a wedding present:

I thought for sure it would just sit somewhere in a closet, never to be opened or used, until we would eventually bust it out for a White Elephant party or give it to the D.I. Boy, was I wrong. John LOVES this thing. You should see him, chasing flies around like a crazy man, wielding a fly swatter shaped like a tennis racket that administers electric shocks when you push the button on the front. I’m pretty sure he gets a strange sense of satisfaction when he hears the loud BANG that comes from direct contact between the fly and the electric wires. I just think it’s funny to watch. And it is pretty effective for getting rid of flying pests. I wonder if it could also act as a taser, should I ever decide to take up running again and don't want to spend money on Mace?

Exhibit B: The Demolition Derby

We trucked it on down to Nephi a couple of weekends ago with a group of friends for the Juab County Fair Demolition Derby. And I have to say, I thoroughly enjoyed myself. There is something about watching old, beat-up vehicles play a real life version of bumper cars that brings joy to my soul. I’m wondering if we can turn John’s Civic into a derby car when (hopefully a long time in the future) it finally bites the dust. I think our friend Andy would be the perfect person to drive it. Check out his hair. He is not, in fact, bald, but shaved it like this for the Derby.

You ain’t hardcore unless you live hardcore.

Exhibit C: The Crisp Bean Burrito Craving

I had a wicked craving for crisp bean burritos a couple of weekends ago while we were out running errands (but no, I regret to inform you that I am NOT pregnant…girls can have weird cravings and not be pregnant, I promise), so John, being the cute husband that he most certainly is, drove around and around trying to find a Taco Time for me. We couldn’t find one and finally resorted to going to Carl’s Jr. for lunch. Lo and behold, there was some random Mexican fast food place attached to the Carl’s Jr. whose name escapes me at the moment. And what to my wondering eyes should appear on the menu…but crisp meat burritos. Not quite the same as a crisp bean burrito, but good enough. Oh, the white-trashness of it all…

A Brief Synopsis

Yowsers. We have apparently been busy little bees with no time for blogging, so please accept this meager offering of what we've been up to in the form of a bulleted list. Come on, bulleted lists are fun! And so are we, I promise. Read on.

• Our fence is mostly done (sadly, none of which I can take credit for. John might very well be mistaken for a Latin man with how tan he's gotten over the summer from all of the time he's spent outside. I shall for here on out call him Juan...), and all I can say is yay for privacy! We no longer have to silently fume about those crazy teenagers thinking our side lawn is their own personal hang-out spot or the random neighborhood children who leave their shoes/bikes/rollerblades/candy wrappers in our backyard. Has made us really want patio furniture...we resorted to bringing our card table and chairs outside a couple of weeks ago and eating dinner on our little patio just so we could enjoy it. And then we parked our cars on the lawn, John started wearing wife-beaters and we both grew mullets.
• We painted and have partially decorated the half bathroom on our main floor. And I have to say I love it. As much as you can love a room whose main function is...well, you know...
• We celebrated Arbor Day a little early and planted ourselves an ash tree in the backyard that will be ginormous in about 30 years. (As will I, most likely. Ha.) We also bought a darling little Charlie Brown-ish apricot tree whose fruit, when it is mature enough to bear fruit, will hopefully not be devoured by the hordes of grasshoppers currently setting up shop in our yard. (Am now thinking there could be a metaphor somewhere in there amongst the "mature enough to bear fruit" and "hordes of devouring grasshoppers" for the lesson I have to give to the combined Young Women in October about chastity...hmm...)
• John went to Scout Camp for a day. Got a little lost. Almost ran out of gas. Took a nap. Pretty much a normal day for him.
  
• I was supposed to go to Girl's Camp for a day but due to torrential rain and crazy mud, was forbidden from going up. Still took the day off and spent it doing fun and exciting things, like laundry and dishes. And perhaps watching copious amounts of TLC and HGTV. So sue me for liking shows about extravagant, ridiculously-priced wedding dresses and house hunting.
• We've started going to this great farmer's market in Draper at least once a week for corn-on-the-cob, strawberries, green beans, avocados and pineapple. Oh, the pineapple...I am somewhat addicted. In the which case, I might just be forced to move to Hawaii. I need my pineapple. And think how fun for all of you to be able to come and visit me on my island paradise! With all of my pineapple trees! Because yes, on my island, the pineapples will grow on trees. Along with money.
  
• I have been getting my fill of community plays. Oh, how I love them. An outdoor production of Bye Bye Birdie a couple of weeks ago and a surprisingly good rendition of Hairspray last Friday night. Still on the docket: Footloose sometime in September or October. I love me some Ren McCormick. Punch-dancing one's rage out never gets old.
  
  
  
  

  
  

  
  

A Beatle and a Birthday Boy

We've had such a fun couple of days. John's birthday was on Wednesday and as part of what I have dubbed his "Birthday Week of Fun," we celebrated by going to Happy Sumo, home to perhaps his favorite thing in the whole world (besides me, of course), the infamous Vegas Roll. My favorite part of going to Happy Sumo is seeing John's "sushi face." This is an old picture, but you get the gist of it. And actually, by the looks of things maybe I am not, in fact, his favorite thing in the world...

John's parents and my parents joined us, and we learned that my mom and John's dad also have a special place in their hearts for the Vegas Roll. Good times.

Another highlight of the Week of Fun was seeing Sir Paul McCartney perform on Tuesday night, which I think I can adequately sum up in three words: Best. Concert. Ever. It seriously was SO much fun, and I have now seen in person why Paul has always been referred to as "the cute one." He has aged quite well, I have to say. And he's British! And a knight! Who doesn't love a cute knight with a lovely British accent who also happens to be a ridiculously talented singer/songwriter/guitarist/pianist and was part of the biggest band of all time? Yeah.

We had the best time. We had floor seats (or should I say, field seats, since the concert was at a soccer stadium), but they were clear at the back, which doesn't bode well for a girl of my height. This was my view of the stage.

Ha. Good thing there were ginormous screens on both sides of the stage so I could at least look at those and see what was going on. And even better that the three people originally sitting by me apparently decided to look for seats elsewhere so that my weird claustrophia/agoraphobia didn't set in and I could enjoy the concert in peace.

The Birthday Week of Fun continues on Saturday when we will be venturing up to Deer Valley to see Ben Folds perform with the Utah Symphony Orchestra, which is the birthday gift I surprised John with a couple of months ago. Thank you, dear husband, for having a birthday in the summertime when we are able to go to fun outdoor concerts and do other fun things outside. As opposed to my birthday, which is in the dead of winter a month after Christmas when nobody wants to spend any money or do anything but stay inside with a mug of hot chocolate and pajamas on. Ha. Summer birthdays trump all.

Viva la Birthday Week of Fun!

Yay for running water...

So, for those of you who actually care, the water main is fixed! We were finally able to fix it last Thursday, which meant we spent five days camping out at my parent's house. It was kind of like a mini-vacation...Kearns, after all, is a destination hot spot. :) But seriously, my parents are awesome and my dad even went out and bought one of those big, fancy, comfy air mattresses for us to sleep on. And my mom has reintroduced me to the joy of watching Perry Mason and I Love Lucy. Thank you, PBS, for your old school late-night programming.

Fortunately for us, we have connections in our ward, so fixing everything only ended up costing us about $30. Just for fun, John called someone to get an estimate if they were to fix everything...$600. Yep. Thank heavens Johnny is such a go-getter and doesn't mind learning how to fix things himself.

And now, on to more exciting news: in a little more than two hours, we get to see this guy perform:

Yippee!!!